Gary's diary and motivational notes

Posted: May 25, 2025

Sometime back in 2023, I got a notification from Google Photo Memories. It was a series of images from past years. Two photos made me stop in my tracks. Who is that overweight dude? That dude was me. I remembered the moment the pictures were taken—but I didn’t remember looking like that. When I looked in the mirror, I saw Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Apparently, everyone else saw a 350-pound man in denial. Years ago, while co-teaching a management seminar, I learned a concept from my colleague Dr. Marc DeSimone: S.E.E. – Significant Emotional Event. 

That day, those photos became my S.E.E. moment. Unlike my previous 20+ attempts to lose weight and get healthy, I didn’t ignore the warning signs. I started my journey toward health and wellness that very day—and I haven’t looked back.

Here’s the truth: I wasn’t overweight. I was morbidly obese with cardiovascular issues. I’d been diagnosed with a heart blockage on the right side of my heart. You’d think that would’ve been enough to change my lifestyle. It wasn’t. The only thing I consistently did right was cycle—even at 350 pounds. A year later, I had surgery to re-route veins in my legs so blood could flow more easily to my heart. I made some half-hearted lifestyle changes, but they didn’t last. I slowly fell back into old habits. About 18 months later, I started feeling “off” when I was sitting or lying down—but never while cycling. One evening, I was at a friend’s house playing on his race car simulator when that “off” feeling hit again.

This friend had undergone heart surgery himself. He sat me down, ran some quick tests on his home equipment, and looked me square in the eye: “You need to see your doctor ASAP.”

I had felt like this before but always shrugged it off—because I felt fine when exercising. Still, I made the appointment. While waiting to see the cardiologist, that weird feeling returned. I sat still, hoping it would pass. It did. Then a nurse called me in to take my vitals. Calmly, she asked, “Did you just run up the stairs?” I shook my head. “No.” She replied, “The doctor will be in shortly.” Within a minute, the door burst open. The doctor (whom I’d never met) entered with two nurses and an EKG machine. They pushed me back on the table, lifted my shirt, and rolled up my pant legs. I was calm—I felt great. But apparently, I was having a heart episode and didn’t know it.

I was released but scheduled for follow-up testing. After several tests, I returned to the hospital for results. Walking into the conference room with two cardiologists, I said:
“OK, just bottom-line it. Give it to me straight—no chaser.” They had found another blockage—this time on the left side of my heart. Then one doctor asked if I’d had any more episodes since the tests. I said no. The other cardiologist explained something that blew my mind. He said: “Your body did a ‘WAZE.’” I said, “What?” “You know the WAZE GPS app? Your body found a natural reroute—bypassing the blockage. Your heart is getting enough blood on its own, so we’re not going to operate.” Instead, they suggested a minor vein procedure on my left leg. As I was leaving, one cardiologist called out: “That cycling saved you from surgery—and may have saved your life.”

I’ve made plenty of failed attempts to get healthy over the years. But when I saw those photos pop up on my phone that day, I knew I couldn’t ignore the truth any longer. Every failure before was tied to something I wasn’t managing—discipline, willpower, stress, or life balance. But now, I’m two years into the journey, and this time, I know I’m on the right track.

The photos don’t lie. But the good news is—you get to change the story and live another healthy day.

Posted:  July 30, 2024

Warning: This is a long post. The response to my Facebook post about my weight loss struggle has been somewhat emotional and overwhelming.  Some folks have emailed me offline to thank me for putting myself out there and giving them hope.  One friend said that she had all but given up on trying to lose weight, but after reading my post, she is going to start walking again, and toss out the junk snacks in her pantry.  I received 8 supportive emails over the past 24 hours.  I know what it feels like to try and lose weight.  In the spirit of helping others, I feel very little risk in sharing the following for the first time.

I’ve been overweight for 20 years.  I started gaining weight in 2004.  In August of 2011, I hit the 300 lb. mark.  In 2016, I weighed 350 lbs.  During those 20-years, part of my struggle included poor eating choices, overeating, and not exercising—all of which I own and take responsibility for not handling my business.  The biggest barrier to becoming healthy was not understanding that I was an emotional eater.  I knew that I was not eating healthy but used food as a coping mechanism.  Listening to people who tell you that you are fat and joking about your weight was difficult.  I never felt that the comments were purposely mean-spirited to hurt my feelings.  I believed that the people making the comments believed they were trying to help me and motivate me to get slimmer.

Most of the negative comments came from my family and friends, including my mother (who reeled off a slew of solid one-liners over the years).  Here are a few “fat shaming” comments that I vividly remember from friends and family:

· “Man, you getting’ so big we gonna have to put 3 numbers on the back of your jersey.”

· “When is the baby due?”

· “Looks like you’re in your 3rd”

· "I thought you said you were losing weight. It doesn’t look like it to me."

· "I don’t understand why you are so big. Just stop eating."

Fortunately for me, the effects of these comments did not have an impact on my self-esteem, but it did add to my existing stress of being a working husband and father with a stressful job and a long commute in rush hour traffic.

As I continued to gain weight, my scale could not keep up with me.  On that day in August, when I hit the 300 lbs., I stepped on the scale and looked down to see my weight.  The scale beeped and displayed the following:  OVER LIMIT.  That incident was not enough to make me change my behavior.  Rather than work to lose weight, I bought an old fashion medical scale that went up to 400 lbs. (Warning Sign Ignored)

Years ago, I bought a top-of-the-line treadmill.  I never thought that I would have to worry about weight-limits.  I had no idea that the treadmill had a maximum weight capacity of 275 lbs.  Several years later I got on the treadmill, and it reflected a digital readout that told me I was over the weight limit to use it.  I ignored that warning and continued to use the treadmill.  A few months later, I was walking on the treadmill and started to smell smoke.  I burned the motor on the treadmill, and it shut down.  You would think that incident would have been enough to make me change my lifestyle.  Nope.  I did not change my behavior and continued to gain weight eventually reaching 350 lbs. (Warning Sign Ignored)

And Then This Happened

In 2021, I was experiencing occasional heart racing while sitting at my desk or laying down.  One of my buddies  who had heart surgery DEMANDED that I visit my doctor  ASAP.  My doctor referred me to a cardiologist.  Long story short,  between the time of the thermonuclear tests at the hospital and the time to get the results, I was expecting bad news, but I was optimistic that  I would be OK. Without getting too deep, the doctor sat me down and  said: “You have a blockage on the left side of your heart.  We will not  be operating on you.  Your heart has done what we call a WAZE, like the  GPS system and re-routed enough blood to your heart.”  WOW!  About  20-months later, another blockage was detected on the right side of my heart.  Again, no surgery required.  I will end the story there by  saying: “God is good!”

The Pivotal Moment

And then one day, I had a S.E.E. moment.  I was watching my friend and colleague Marc DeSimone on stage teaching a group of managers.  We used to watch each other when were booked together by the client.  One day Marc spoke about S.E.E., which stands for Significant Emotional Event.  The S.E.E. moment that rocked me to the core and put me on track to lose 68 lbs. happened in 2022 while traveling with friends and family.  We boarded an airplane and were about to take off.  The Flight Attendant was walking down the aisle to ensure that everyone had their seat belt fastened.  There I sat, sweat pouring down my brow trying to get my seat belt to click.  The Flight Attendant saw me struggling and announced rather loudly, “Looks like you’re going to need a seat belt extender.” I was devastated, embarrassed and humiliated.  I looked up at the Flight Attendant.  I wanted to say, “Why don’t you get on the P.A. system and tell everybody.”  I was too fat for the seat belt.  

That was my S.E.E. moment.  I immediately began to reflect on my circumstances.  I had to figure out how I got to this point.  If I could figure that out and honestly deal with the answers, I believe I would have a chance. 

Take Baby Steps Along the Way 

My first step to success was intermittent fasting.  That was my first measure of success, and it made me feel good.  From this point on, I believed that losing weight and keeping it off was possible.  I also had CONFIDENCE and was comfortable holding myself accountable.  I asked myself: “What might I be doing that could be contributing to my repeated setbacks and subsequent weight gain?”  I also had to make myself vulnerable and trust that those folks around me were giving me feedback from a “good place” with “good intentions.”  I simply had to accept their feedback.  Once that happened, I was able to successfully manage this process of living a healthier lifestyle and losing weight.

I won’t make this post any longer, but as you can see, I figured it out.  One of the things I did back then was visit the website “Chubby Travelers.”  This site is designed for overweight people.  They rank airlines, review airline seats (pitch and width), seat belt extenders, buses and anything that a fat person would need or should know when traveling.

Bottom Line:  To those who reached out to me to thank me for my last post, hang in there.  You are not alone, and you can do it!